Why it Pays to be Persistent...

I tell people that if you want to work with teens there are 3 things you have to be...Considerate, Consistent, and Courageous. Considerate means to recognize that who they are and how they show up in spaces did not happen in a vacuum and did not happen overnight. Consistent means to do what you say you're going to do and be who you say you're going to be...all the time. Not just when it's easy or convenient for you. And being courageous means don't give up on them. Trust me, they're used to that.

I know that I am who I am and I'm at where I'm at because of the caring adults that were in my life when I was a teenager that lived out the philosophy I now share with adults all over the world. What's crazy is, I didn't teach them this concept, they taught me, through their words, their actions, and their reactions to challenging situations.

One of the people that had the biggest impact on my life as a teen was a guy named Ty who worked for Youth to Youth. Ty’s a big white dude, over six feet, 250-plus pounds. Because of his size he was often expected to be the disciplinarian / unofficial security at Youth to Youth events. He always stayed on my neck, kicked me out of events when I got out of line, and followed me and my friends around to make sure we didn’t cause any trouble. I actually hated him. But every time he kicked me out he’d say, “Wish you could stay Javier, But try again next time.” I’d be mad, but for some reason I always came back. I think somewhere deep down I knew he actually cared.

There was even a night at a teen club on my side of town, where he showed up with a bunch of teens from Youth to Youth. I guess he was their chaperone. My friends and I were always looking for trouble, and I decided we were going to jump him when the club let out. I pointed him out and my guys were ready. All night I kept my eye on him. He was in my territory now! I couldn’t wait to light him up! But when the lights came up, he was walking out with some Youth to Youth teens I knew and was kind of cool with. My boys asked if we were still doing it. I said, “Nah. Let it go.” If we had jumped Ty that night, my life would have gone a whole different direction. A lot of doors that opened for me would’ve stayed closed forever.

So some time after that I was at another Youth to Youth event. It was lunchtime and for some reason Ty decides he's going to come sit with me and my friends and eat. I thought it was weird at first, but here he was…sitting with us, cracking jokes, telling stories, making us laugh. I had never seen that side of him. If I didn't know, or couldn't admit it before then, I could tell now that he genuinely cared about us and wanted to see our lives elevated.

That lunch turned into a friendship, and that friendship turned into mentorship. Ty saw something in me and decided to pour into it. Over 30 years later he's still one of my dearest friends and I can easily say that most of the opportunities I’ve had to speak, travel, and do the work I love to do to impact youth and communities trace back to him choosing to invest in me. He became one of the most impactful people in my life and I’m forever grateful.

Ty could have given up on me SOOO many times. But that would've been easy and even expected. I was used to that, and I knew how to respond to that kind of energy from adults. But when he chose to do things the hard way and be Considerate, Consistent, and Courageous…it paid off big time.

I encourage you, even when it's hard or seems impossible. Even when it would be easy to gravitate towards the teens in your program or students in your class that make your job easier. Even when you know that young person probably isn't going to match your energy the first, second, third, or even tenth time. Do your best to stay the course. I promise you that more times than not your persistence will pay off.

Please check out this free resource you can use to define, decide, and determine who you are as a caring adult who works with young people. Now I promise, when you read it you're going to start thinking of all the other people you know that would benefit from this resource. But before you give it to them, give it to yourself. Learn to live it before you give it.

FTMO - Define, Decide, Determine Who You Are (2).pdf

Download PDF • 362KB

And here's a real short video I made about how to get people, especially young people to commit to your program, class, or initiative.

As always, if you like this, please share it with other people you care about.