Why My Parents Weren't Perfect...And That's a Good Thing!
- R.E.A.C.H. Team
- Sep 3, 2025
- 3 min read
I was born on September 9th. My dad and I share a birthday. My mom's birthday is 4 days later on the 13th. It's an honor to be in such close birthday proximity with two amazing parents!
They showed me how to serve others joyfully, how to put other people first, and how to do it with love, not resentment. I never saw them drink or smoke. While my dad was alive, he was steady. And dependable. And kind. And my mom continues to be the picture of unconditional love and selfless generosity.
They weren’t perfect. None of us are. I know for a fact that on more than one occasion, my siblings and I pushed my mom to the limits and she let some words fly that we weren't a regular part of her vocabulary.
Now I will say that the closest to perfection I ever saw from my dad get to might’ve been the fact that I only heard him curse once in my entire life. And all he said was the D-word. And I promise, when he said it, it scared the S-word out of me!
I was in high school, upstairs in my room, talking to a girl on the phone. My dad called up to ask me to come do something. I don’t even remember what it was, but I remember telling him to hold on because I was on the phone. Then I went back to my phone call.
He called me again. This time, I answered with an attitude. “I said hold on!”
I went back to my call. I didn’t hear him come up the stairs. I didn’t hear him open the door to my bedroom. All I remember is the phone flying out of my hand from behind.
He slammed it on the receiver and said, “Put that damn phone down and get downstairs!”
I was stunned! I’m not sure what he wanted me to do, but I probably did it three times just to be safe.
My dad passed away on October 31st, 2023, just a little more than a month after the last birthday celebration we had together. That year, the house was full. So many people came to celebrate him. I was turning 48 that year. Not a milestone for me. But he was turning 76, and from that point on, every birthday was a milestone, because it meant he’d survived another year of cancer.
I feel like people tend to struggle more when they focus on what they don’t have. And they find more peace when they’re thankful for what they do have.
I was sad when my dad passed away, but I was also incredibly relieved that he didn’t have to suffer anymore. Overall, since his passing, I’ve definitely felt more gratitude than grief.
I'm thankful for every day, every experience, and every birthday I got to share with my dad.
One of the many lessons I learned from my parents is to model the behavior we want, hope, or expect to see from our children. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or youth service provider, this message applies.
I paid a lot of attention to my parents, even when they didn't think I was. Our children see, hear, and remember way more than we realize. And I'd say most of the lessons the learn from us happen when we are not trying to teach them a lesson.
So let's be a little extra thoughtful and considerate of our words, our actions, and our reactions. We're teaching our children lessons whether we mean to or not.
Here's a real short video I made to share my gratitude for every day I got to spend with my dad and how my gratitude got me through my grief.
As always, if you like this, share it with people you care about.
