Why I Don't Shoplift...Anymore

I remember one time I was speaking in schools in Philadelphia. I had some downtime so I decided to go over to South Street. If you've ever been to Philadelphia, you probably know that South Street is where you can find boutique fashion shops, local art and music, and great Philly Cheese Steaks! I had visited South Street several times over the years and was looking forward to another cool experience. So I went into one of the clothing shops and was in there for less than 5 minutes when I realized that one of the employees was following me around the store. I could sense that they were suspicious of me and wanted to make sure I wasn't up to no good. Now mind you, I'm a grown man. I work with young people. I'm a parent with my own two young people. But for whatever reason the employee couldn't see any of that and assumed I planned on walking out of there with some "free samples".

After a while, I had had enough and when they got a little too close for comfort I turned around and yelled, "Why are you following me?!?! I'm not trying to steal any of your stupid clothes!!!"

Now I'll be honest, I probably used language that was a little more colorful than that. But I was fed up with being judged and stereotyped for no reason.

I stormed out of the shop and when I got outside and had walked down the street a ways, I stopped to catch my breath and collect myself.

When I got back to my hotel, I continued to replay the experience in my head. One of the realizations that I had was that yes, the shop employee came to conclusions about me without really knowing anything about me. But I also came to conclusions about her without knowing anything about her either.

All of us have a worldview that is formed by our lived experience. Our worldview is defined by how we see the world, how we believe the world sees us, and how we see ourselves based on both of those. There are 5 things that can inform or create our worldview. I call them the 5 E's.

Environment: The family, community, state, country we grow up in.

Experiences: The things that happen to us or around us.

Exposure: What we are or are not exposed to.

Encounters: Who we do or do not encounter.

Education: How we are educated or miseducated.

These are what help us form our worldview, for better or worse. So when you are working with young people or dealing with anyone, remember that whatever circumstances they find themselves in, did not happen in a vacuum and did not happen overnight.

So I continue to work on being better at being mindful of the fact that everyone has an origin story. How people show up in the world is influenced, affected, and sometimes infected by the 5 E's. If we all take that into consideration, it can help us do better and be better, for better.

Here's a real quick video from my one man show called The Gift Exchange that talks a little bit more about the importance of not letting other people's ignorance determine our life experience. As always, if you like this, share it with people you care about.