Why 3,000 is My Favorite Number...
- R.E.A.C.H. Team
- 3 days ago
- 6 min read
My Son’s 26th birthday was this week! I love him to life and cherish every day with him. Because when he first got here…we didn’t know how long he’d be with us!
In 2000, I got a chance to speak at a Youth Conference on a US Army base in Tokyo. I had a great time! I was the keynote speaker for the youth conference. My presentation was going well other than the microphone shorting out every once in a while. One time I was telling a story and said the word “fart”, but right when I said it the microphone cut out. So all the audience heard was “fuh”. Everybody looked at me in shock. I didn’t understand what was wrong, so I doubled down and said, “You guys got a problem with me saying the word fuh…” and the mic cut out again! Their jaws dropped and I still didn’t get it, so I kept going. The principal had to get clarification that I didn’t actually drop an F bomb in front of her students. I assured her I didn’t and despite the lost in translation moment, it was a great presentation.
Afterwards students were coming up to meet me to talk and take pictures. I was in the middle of this when the principal came over and told me I had a phone call. It kinda threw me off. I thought, “Who would be calling me in Japan?” It was three in the afternoon, and this was before cell phones, so I was a little confused. I went to the office to take the call, and when I answered it was my director, who booked all my speaking engagements. She was very upset and emotional, apologizing over and over and saying she was so sorry that I was in Japan. She said something was going on with the pregnancy, and my son’s mom had to be rushed to the hospital. She told me I needed to get home as soon as possible.
I was devastated. I immediately fell into the chair sobbing. She told me to call my mother-in-law, then figure out the earliest flight I could get. I was supposed to be in Japan for another seven days. I called my mother-in-law, and she told me her water had broken. The doctors were saying she would give birth within 24 to 48 hours. She was only six months pregnant, and since we hadn’t had any problems before, this caught us completely off guard. But now she was about to give birth, and I had to figure out how to get back home from the other side of the planet in time for my first child to be born!
We rearranged my flight so I could get home. I had to wait about four hours at the airport. It was surreal because I was in one of the most incredible airports I had ever seen, with high-tech everything. I think it had a zoo and an indoor Ferris wheel, but I couldn’t appreciate it. All I could think about was getting home. I had planned to buy souvenirs for my family, but since I was leaving early, I hadn’t had a chance. So now I was walking around the airport buying gifts, but it felt strange. Presents are something you buy when you’re happy and excited. I was scared and stressed like never before. The contrast was jarring. Even when I got on the plane for that 14-hour flight, I couldn’t focus. I had access to a whole menu of movies but couldn’t enjoy them. I tried to sleep, but my mind was spinning.
I got home and made it to the hospital as quickly as I could. The doctors said my wife would have to be on full bed rest until the baby was born. She couldn’t get up to eat, or use the bathroom, or anything. They thought it would be 24 to 48 hours, but it ended up being 10 days. Ten full days flat on her back.
After 10 days the baby stopped moving in her stomach, and they had to do an emergency C-section. When the baby was born, he weighed barely three pounds. He had blood on his brain, an infection in his blood, pneumonia, and another infection they couldn’t even identify. He was on full life support. He couldn’t do anything on his own. They monitored him briefly, then decided he needed to be transferred to Children’s Hospital across town for better care in their NICU.
It took his mom a couple days to recover from surgery, but when she was finally able to leave the hospital, we went straight to Children’s. Before we entered the NICU, the doctor stopped us and said three things I will never forget. He said, “Your son is very sick, and he may not live more than a few days. We’re doing the best we can. Try to keep your spirits up.”
Our whole world was falling apart. Everything we hoped for, dreamed of, and prayed about was crashing down. We were scared, sad, angry, and confused. We did not understand why this was happening to us. But we had to make a hard decision. We had just been told our son might not live more than a few days. As devastating as this news was, we didn’t want to take that fear and sadness into the NICU with us, so we said if he was only going to be here a few days, we wanted him to be surrounded by love, peace, and gratitude. Whether we had him in our lives for three days or three thousand, we were going to be thankful for every single one.
When we got to his incubator, we were taken aback by what we saw. He couldn’t breathe on his own. He was hooked up to a bunch of hoses and wires. He had a mask over his eyes. He was the tiniest, most fragile baby I had ever seen. We weren’t even allowed to touch him. I remember his mom approached the incubator, leaned over and said, “Mommy loves you so much. You’re so precious. I can’t wait to hold you and give you hugs and kisses!” Shortly after her, I went up to the incubator and leaned over and said, “Hey buddy, Daddy loves you so much. I can’t wait for you to get home! We’re gonna play basketball and football, and Daddy’s going to win cause I’m bigger!” Finally someone I could beat in sports!
He was at Children’s for about three weeks. He had made it through those critical three days! Then the doctors said he was strong enough to go back to the hospital he was born in. Eventually we got to hold him and feed him. He was getting stronger every day. After about three more months the doctors said he was healthy enough for us to take him home. We did and we kept loving on him, praying for him, and being thankful for him.
Those three months turned into three years. Those three years turned into three thousand plus days. And now our son is a grown man, married, with his own son and serving in the US Army. We’re lucky he fought through whatever he was going through as a tiny baby so anxious to experience the world that he showed up extra early. And we have been thankful for each and every day he’s been in our lives since.
In that moment when it felt like our world was falling apart, we had to decide whether to choose gratitude or grief. We chose gratitude. It was not an easy choice, but it was necessary. That whole experience reminded me that it’s not what happens to us that matters most, it’s how we respond. We chose to respond with gratitude and I’m so glad we did.
Here's a tool you can use and share that can help you find strength in the midst of the struggles of your life. Please download it and share it with others too.
And here's a quick video that talks a little bit more about the power of gratitude.
As always, thank you for the work you do,
but most importantly for the person you are.
Also don't forget to share this to your socials!
